A few days ago, I met an international Indian celebrity. I was so excited about the opportunity to talk to him about the book I just co-authored and also share the experience of being an author. It was an amazing feeling for me because I am still a work in progress toward becoming a successful author. So, when I was introduced to him, I gave him my book and the first question he asked me was “how did you manage all this outside of your home country? And I was blank! I didn’t have an answer to his question. Why?
Well, I am new in the states say two years and that question made me realize how ungrateful people are to see their accomplishments. Now, this happened in May and the book was released in February. So, in three months, I was already making efforts in pushing my book out there making sure my friends and family read it. But to my disappointment, I realized that friends and family are somehow the last ones to want to have anything that must deal with your success.
You know when you are being a jerk and the universe/God tries to remind you that you are not one? Yeah! Something similar happened to me.
During these three months, I got worried, and I started questioning myself like, is this the right journey for me? Am I doing the right thing? But this story didn’t stop there.
I have always liked people around me; I would host parties and bring people because I always love people around me and I enjoy cooking for a large crowd and having fun and all those things that make me happy when I am with people. Then things started to change, and everything started going wrong with family and friends. It was a dark moment for me, and I realized those I call my friends are not my friends. So when I moved here, the first year was hell for me, I kept complaining of boredom and I didn’t know anyone. So my complaints moved from complaining to my husband to complaining to God and I started asking God a lot of questions. Because I love talking to God, I told him that if I was his princess, why was he doing this to me? And trust me, I had loads of negative questions for him and I vented my anger on God. I wasn’t a regular church member initially, so when I moved to the states, the church became Christmas and Easter. This Easter when I went to church, (that is four months after Christmas) while I was listening to the sermon, the pastor said “your place is reserved” then it struck a chord in me that every time I go to church, there’s always a seat that is reserved for me even if I haven’t been there in four months. Nobody has taken my seat, it is always available, not that I sit at the last seat, and I use to sit pretty much in the front.
To a greater extent, I kept denying the fact that this is an opportunity, and I wasn’t accepting where I am and being here and now at the moment. Because I was so busy comparing what my life would have been and the struggles I was going through because I had to set up my business right from the scratch and I started complaining about how I was going to start all over something I had already done in India and had established myself. Instead of me seeing it as an opportunity to create something magical here in the states, my life was all about comparison.
At that moment, I realized that even though I called myself a woman of faith, my actions weren’t in line with my belief. There and then, I made up my mind to embrace the opportunities that were available to me and sooner did I realize that America is a place where dreams come through. I had the opportunity of writing my dream book in a new country. So, I got my own space, redesigned my house the way I want, I was coaching and I also had to live peacefully and I exercised my faith because I realized God was at my side.
So if you are reading this and you are losing faith, I want you to know that everything is happening for your highest good. If you lose out on anything, it is because you are creating space for new ones to come in. there is a difference between saying and believing. Saying that I was a woman of faith didn’t help me. But the moment I started trusting God, making efforts by actions, it was there I realized that believing God is necessary to survive. Make a choice. Believe and act.